Ever wondered what that inane comment from your elders’ means? Are they going senile and need to be put into a retirement home? Are they only being needlessly cryptic to confuse you? Are they hiding a secret meaning within everything they say? As always, we reveal all....
DURING CLASS:
THEY SAY:
"It’s too hot for the heaters today."
WHAT THEY DON’T SAY:
"Besides, we’ve already used up our monthly gas usage quota."
THEY SAY:
"Trust me, if you don’t get organised and keep up to date, you’ll never get anywhere in life."
WHAT THEY DON’T SAY:
"You’ll just end up with a lousy low-paid secondary school teaching job in a small country town like Hamilton."
DURING ASSEMBLY:
THEY SAY:
"It’s Open Day today, so make sure the school is free of rubbish."
WHAT THEY DON’T SAY:
"So our visitors don’t see how much food the boarders throw out."
THEY SAY:
"These distinctive kinds of hairstyles are totally unacceptable!"
WHAT THEY DON’T SAY:
"Only because I wish I had enough hair left to do the same."
THEY SAY:
"No, that was not a cue to talk! Stand quietly!"
WHAT THEY DON’T SAY:
"I want to hear Chris and Diana’s really dirty joke I missed last week."
DURING HOUSE MEETINGS:
THEY SAY:
"Let us remind you that this is not a vote for the school captain - it’s simply an indication of who you would prefer."
WHAT THEY DON’T SAY:
"Your input has no value to us."
THEY SAY:
"It’s not about winning or losing, but about everyone having a go and having fun."
WHAT THEY DON’T SAY:
"It is not okay to lose. If I hear one more thing about Laidlaw I’ll scream."
AT LUNCHTIME:
THEY SAY:
"Have another hotdog."
WHAT THEY DON’T SAY:
"You can hardly taste the lard."
THEY SAY:
"Pull those socks up!"
WHAT THEY DON’T SAY:
"The only way we can keep up with better schools is to have a good looking uniform."
AT HOME:
THEY SAY:
"You are not going out dressed like that!"
WHAT THEY DON’T SAY:
"I managed to pick up in the 70’s wearing sequined flares and an afro, and I’m making sure you look just as bad."
THEY SAY:
"How can you listen to that vile music?"
WHAT THEY DON’T SAY:
"Don’t worry, in a few years I won’t be able to hear your music - or anything else anyway."
THEY SAY:
"There’s to be no alcohol at this party of yours."
WHAT THEY DON’T SAY:
"Before I shut the door and go to bed."
THEY SAY:
"Of course you’re not an accident, you were planned right from the start..."
WHAT THEY DON’T SAY:
"Of the movie at the Drive-in theatre."
THEY SAY:
"A lawyer’s a good profession son..."
WHAT THEY DON’T SAY:
"It’s the only way I’m guaranteed of going to a good retirement home."
