The supreme commander and his humble assistant sit in an underground office watching their crime monitors for any unexpected warnings.

NAM: "NOT MUCH ACTION AROUND TODAY."

RAB: "WAIT A MINUTE! LOOK AT THE WATER METER, IT’S BEEN GOING UP FOR THE LAST 30 SECONDS."

NAM: "RIGHT! GO TO VISUAL."

RAB: "BUBBLE TAP CAMERA ON. JUST AS I THOUGHT, WATER BOMBS!"

NAM: "WHO’S IN THAT AREA?"

RAB: "PP IS IN SECTOR 4B, THAT’S JUST ONE SECTOR AWAY."

NAM: "MWA, HA, HA, HA, HA… IT’S TIME TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH."

Switches on his radio

NAM: "PP, THIS IS NAM, VECTOR HEADING TWO-SEVEN-ZERO TOWARD POSSIBLE WATER FIGHT IN SECTOR 4C, REPEAT POSSIBLE WATER FIGHT."

RAB: "PHIL’S ON HIS WAY."

NAM: "DAMN!"

RAB: "WHAT?"

NAM: "THE WATER FIGHT MUST BE A DIVERSION. LOOK AT THE SATELLITE IMAGE FOR SECTOR 4B, THERE’S ALMOST 20 KIDS CROSSING THE ROAD OUTSIDE THE DESIGNATED CROSSING AREA."

RAB: "OH NO! THERE’S NO UNITS IN THAT ENTIRE SECTOR."

NAM: "WHAT ABOUT JT?"

RAB: "NO, HE’S STILL SMOKING UNTIL 1345 HOURS"

NAM: "I DON’T CARE, HE’LL WANT TO TAKE CARE OF THIS PERSONALLY. GET HIM UP ON THE VIDEOPHONE."

RAB: "YES, SIR."

The principal’s image comes to life on the huge screen in front of them…

NAM: "FORGIVE ME FOR DISTURBING YOU, MASTER, BUT THERE IS A DANGER OF IMMEDIATE IMPORTANCE THAT THREATENS THE SCHOOL’S REPUTATION."

JT: "YES, VERY WELL, BUT WHEN YOU SPEAK TO ME, DON’T MUMBLE AND LOOK IN THE OTHER DIRECTION. LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND PROJECT YOUR VOICE. IT’S NOT SO HARD."

NAM: "OF COURSE, MASTER, BUT THERE IS A LARGE GROUP OF STUDENTS IN VIOLATION OF CODE 52. IT’S ALSO HIGHLY POSSIBLE THAT THEY ARE SOCKS DOWN AND SHIRTS OUT."

JT: "GOOD LORD. SOCKS AT HALF MAST. SOMEONE MUST HAVE DIED!"

Sycophantic laughs from Nam…

JT: "I’M ON MY WAY. OVER AND OUT."

RAB: "NEIL, EMERGENCY BROADCAST FROM PP!"

NAM: "PUT HIM THROUGH."

PP: "MAYDAY, MAYDAY, MAYDAY, THIS IS BRAVO 5. I’M UNDER ATTACK BY YEAR 9’S, GETTING HEAVY FIRE FROM WATER BOMBS, RECOMMEND ABORT MISSION…"

RAB: "SIR, I SUGGEST WE WITHDRAW HIM IMMEDIATELY."

NAM: "NO, SEND IN REINFORCEMENTS. I’LL STOP THIS FIGHT IF IT’S THE LAST THING I DO"

He switches the radio to the emergency frequency…

NAM: "ALL TO SECTOR 4C. WATER FIGHT IN PROGRESS, REACT TO THREATS WITH MAXIMUM FORCE. FRIDAY DETENTIONS ARE AUTHORISED, REPEAT, YOU HAVE THE GO AHEAD FOR 4 DEMERITS."

CGI: "I HAVE VISUAL IDENTIFICATION OF THE ENEMY, IT’S BEAR BAILEY."

NAM: "I THOUGHT WE GOT RID OF HIM!"

CGI: "WELL, I GUESS HE’S BACK FOR REVENGE."

Silence fills the room as they watch the teachers drop like flies on the control radar…

NAM: "CALL IN THE AIR STRIKE!"

RAB: "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH THAT WOULD COST?"

NAM: "YOU’RE RIGHT. THERE’S ONLY ONE PERSON THAT KNOWS HOW TO DEAL WITH BEAR BAILEY. GET ME MY SECRET WEAPON."

RAB: "ARE YOU SURE THAT’S WISE SIR?"

NAM: "I SAID DO IT!"

Sweat pours down Rab’s face as he slowly reaches for the red button

RAB: "ROSALIND JONES, YOU’RE UP."

TO BE CONTINUED…

STAY TUNED NEXT WEEK WHEN BIN LU CALLS UPON NAM TO HELP HIM TAKE CONTROL OF A NIGHTMARE INFOTECH CLASS…