The Best of Methods Class 1998
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Below is a comprehensive list of actual comments made in a year 12 Maths Methods class in 1998. Mr. Grigg was the teacher of the time.
Grigg: "I’ve got arthritis from writing out that law"
Orme: "I’m sure it’s from writing out that law." (27.1.98)
Grigg: "Boyd, you are from the Tepper/Mott school of attendance." (29.1.98)
Grigg: "Boyd, your ignorance falls in between negative infinity and infinity." (29.1.98)
Grigg: "X = -2? Might be in Dunkeld Jo, but not here." (29.1.98)
Grigg: "I’m married to a Queenslander. Tragic really." (30.1.98)
Grigg: "This concept of normal is one you may find strange Thane." (2.2.98)
Grigg: "Trust me - I’m a maths teacher." (2.2.98)
Grigg: "Rutter, you’re a bright young man."
Rutter: "Thank you."
Grigg: "That’s all I wanted to say." (3.2.98)
Grigg: "Here is, what I hope, is Aaron’s thinking." (5.2.98)
Grigg: "Bell, your family makes a living out of sin." (5.2.98)
Grigg: "Boyd, don’t smile, it makes me physically ill." (6.2.98)
Grigg: "Specialist makes a study score of 32 go up to about 85." (11.2.98)
Grigg: "In life you’ll find you need a hobby, Rutter, and I’ve found mine: Rutter abuse." (11.2.98)
Grigg: "Thane, you’re my hero today." (2.3.98)
Grigg: "There are more atrocities here than in Serbia." (4.3.98)
Grigg: "Kristy King - a shining light in a sea of ignorami." (6.3.98)
Grigg: "They should have given you the day off Rutter - it’s the school at work day." (6.3.98)
Grigg: [On the ‘breastwork’ spelling error in newsletter] "The kind of stuff Leon will be doing at Port Fairy." (6.3.98)
Grigg: "Including Methods as a sequence. Very ambitious Tuffnell." (6.3.98)
Grigg: "That is, with the greatest respect - bull twang." (12.3.98)
Grigg: "You couldn’t find the classroom Tuffnell? It’s been here for 18 years." (12.3.98)
Grigg: "Boyd, I wish to know, because Rutter has failed, and you’re a self-styled expert, what is the derivative of x²?" (13.2.98)
Grigg: "Dean, I hardly think you’re in any position to hand out beauty tips." (16.3.98)
Grigg: "We know you’re a pain but we can’t see through you." (16.2.98)
Rutter: "He does look a bit like Sandy Roberts." (17.2.98)
Grigg: "It’s bad when I start repeating my own lines." (17.2.98)
Grigg: "They’re from the Tuffnell school of punctuality." (18.2.98)
Grigg: "Boyd, I’m the only person allowed to speak mindless drivel, and I get paid for it." (18.2.98)
Grigg: "Tuffnell, your sense of humour does not appeal to me." (23.2.98)
Grigg: "Doing it in one step does not appeal to the punters." (24.2.98)
Grigg: "There’s the normal, which is not something to which you are accustomed, Kelly." (25.3.98)
Grigg: "King - you were wrong too. I’m going to take a real punt here - Rutter!." (25.3.98)
Grigg: "Synonyms - like reprobate and Rutter." (25.3.98)
Grigg: "What do you reckon Rutt? Put pen to paper?" (25.3.98)
Grigg: "He’s from the Dean Tuffnell school of hard work." (27.2.98)
Grigg: "In the words of a famous man - ‘It’s not too hard’." (27.2.98)
Grigg: "It must be market day." (27.3.98)
Grigg: "Alright Kellie, I’m changing your name: Shaun can stay ‘Bad Kelly’ and you’re ‘Moderately Bad Kellie’." (1.4.98)
Grigg: "Have a 10 minute think break. Ho Ho." (1.4.98)
Grigg: "I’m going to do a Baimbridge and go on strike in a moment" (2.4.98)
Grigg: "You should see College-Magpies footy training. Looks like a jewellery shop." (2.4.98)
Grigg: "Boyd, I’ll call you ‘Good Aaron’ for a while to help your self-esteem." (6.4.98)
Grigg: "ASTC. All Skermers Take Cocaine." (6.4.98)
Grigg: "Rutter - I hear Orme has chicken pox. You had chicken pox. There’s no punchline, draw your own conclusions." (28.4.98)
Yates: "He’s been waiting all holidays to say that." (28.4.98)
Grigg: "I think everybody should be their own person, except you Tuffnell." (28.4.98)
Grigg: "I never know with you Rutter - whether you’re a genius or a moron." (30.4.98)
Grigg: "Kelly, the school should provide a scholarship for you to go to Monivae." (30.4.98)
Grigg: "Have a guess - you can only be abused." (1.5.98)
Skermer: "You’re in the way of my eyes." (1.5.98)
Boyd: "Can I have some paper? - I’ll pay you back!"
Rutter: "It’s not mine." (1.5.98)
Grigg: "Shut up Rutter - even if you’re not talking - shut up." (4.5.98)
Grigg: "I never produce my own work." (4.5.98)
Grigg: "The Grigg-mobile will be leaving the carpark at 4:00pm. Do not chase it." (4.5.98)
Grigg: "Study.... What are you going to write Tuffnell? A new concept." (4.5.98)
Grigg: "Two footyheads, a former footyhead, and Tuffnell." (4.5.98)
Grigg: "Hockey players don’t cry..?" (8.5.98)
Grigg: "Orme - you were better when you were sick." (12.5.98)
Grigg: "That’s a very good question Aaron, and I’ll write to my solicitor to find out." (26.5.98)
Boyd: "Sex gives you the same exercise as a half-hour jog."
Grigg: "Boyd - stick with the jog." (28.5.98)
Grigg: "Tuffnell - when you look innocent I know you’re guilty." (29.5.98)
Grigg: "Bi - not referring to anyone’s sexual preferences."
Kelly: "Tuffnell." (1.6.98)
Grigg: "I’m surprised you don’t change the name of the magazine to ‘Amgriggory'." (1.6.98)
Grigg: "She comes from the Kate Bayley school of charm." (2.6.98)
Grigg: "As Confucius say, "Tuffnell slow, I’m impatient"." (4.6.98)
Grigg: "So you’re going to do a Tuffnell, Kellie, and write all of the answers down on your cheat sheet." (4.6.98)
Grigg: "Nuttsy’s graduated from the Tuffnell / Orme school of workaholia." (10.6.98)
Grigg: "Kellie - you know how you belted Boyd earlier?"
Pike: "Yes."
Grigg: "Well feel free to belt Bayley." (11.6.98)
Grigg: "Some people think you’re overrated Rutter. I tend to be in that subset." (11.6.98)
Grigg: "Van Braam, put these women back in their place." (11.6.98)
Grigg: "Kate, do what you normally do - say something mindless." (11.6.98)
Grigg: "Kristy - my faith in human nature has gone completely." (11.6.98)
Grigg: "If you were an honours student Kristy, which I thought you were until about two minutes ago." (11.6.98)
Grigg: "This has destroyed my theory that no one knew anything in 10J." (11.6.98)
Grigg: "Kate, you’re a young woman on a path to somewhere." (11.6.98)
Grigg: "He’s good enough mathematically, but within...." (11.6.98)
Grigg: "You only get one chance in life Kelly." (11.6.98)
Grigg: "I’m the only one who’s paid to be humorous." (12.6.98)
Grigg: "There’s a lot to be said for debilitating diseases." (12.6.98)
Grigg: "Warrnambool, the only town I know where the population exceeds the combined IQ." (15.6.98)
Grigg: "When I was talking about great talent, Tuffnell, I wasn’t referring to you." (17.6.98)
Grigg: "It is bell-shaped. Do not confuse that with Andrew Bell shape." (19.6.98)
Grigg: "I was explaining to Brown that there is no such thing as a negative IQ, and he asked whether that applied to Osmond." (19.6.98)
Grigg: "That’s a bit like you, Skermer, inverse normal." (19.6.98)
Grigg: "Perkins has three handicaps to overcome - he’s in Young, he plays hockey, and he’s from South Australia." (18.6.98)
Grigg: "Orme - you’re the Gareth Sheperdson of Year 12." (25.6.98)
Grigg: "You might want to get a reasonable cross-section of the community, which might include women and South Australians." (14.7.98)
Grigg: "Maybe your grandfather’s named after you John." (14.7.98)
Grigg: "Yates, you make Skermer look like an intellectual." (14.7.98)
Grigg: "It’s better to have tried and failed than not to have tried at all." (15.7.98)
Grigg: "Anyone want to go to Clay Target Shooting? You can be a target Van Gogh." (15.7.98)
Grigg: "I sincerely hope - Aaron Van Gogh, that you are on drugs, because you wouldn’t want to be like that normally." (16.7.98)
Grigg: "Don’t tell me about smart Tuffnell, I’ve been pushing back the barriers of darkness since before you were born." (13.8.98)
Grigg: "I think I’m fairly amusing." (17.8.98)
Grigg: "I may be stupid Skermer, but I’m not as stupid as you." (17.8.98)
Grigg: "That’s if Portland girls can be referred to as trials." (19.8.98)
Grigg: "Not you Gurry, your dirty mind is working overtime." (19.8.98)
Grigg: "Tomorrow’s open day. Tuffnell, don’t bother coming to school." (20.8.98)
Grigg: "Boyd, give me a list of my own jokes so I can recycle them." (20.8.98)
Grigg: "That’s the first time I’ve been wrong since 1963." (20.8.98)
Grigg: "Where’s this $4000 computer which you bought when you can’t even afford $3 for House funds?" (25.8.98)
Grigg: "How come I can write faster than you can read, Van Gogh?" (25.8.98)
Grigg: "In the second part, umm... part 2." (25.8.98)
Grigg: "Ho ho ho." (25.8.98)
Grigg: "I haven’t lost my touch Merran, I used to be able to do that from 30 paces." (26.8.98)
Grigg: "I’m not going to pick on you, Skermer, because I thought it would be too hard." (26.8.98)
Yates: "Having a good day Mr, Grigg?"
Grigg: "It’s not helped by you morons." (27.8.98)
Grigg: "This disappointed me, as it showed that; a) he knew nothing about the product rule, and, b) he knew nothing at all." (31.8.98)
Grigg: "Boyd, I’m not interested in your sick fantasies." (1.9.98)
Grigg: "My class topped the state one year. It was at Melbourne Grammar, not you riff-raff." (2.9.98)
Grigg: "Don’t record my serious comments." (8.9.98)
Grigg: "Kelly, get out of my life." (8.9.98)
Grigg: "That’s good Tuffnell, 6. The average monkey gets 4." (14.9.98)
Grigg: "You’re now "Good Kelly" Shaun. You’ll be better when you have a shave." (14.9.98)
Grigg: "Boyd, if you were trying to be funny, it would have been very witty. The fact that you are being serious saddens me." (14.9.98)
Grigg: "Boyd, are you really sorry, or just Bill Clinton sorry? - You just want to keep your job." (14.9.98)
Grigg: "Kellie, you are going to lower my average." (14.9.98)
Grigg: "Here’s a situation - I will relate it for the Hockeyheads." (14.9.98)
Grigg: "What’s DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Association." (14.9.98)
Rutter: "Some of them will have pretty low IQ’s."
Grigg: "You’ve never been to Branxholme Rutter, it’s where Mr. Ingham and Mrs. Maclean come from." (14.9.98)
VAN-ISIMS
The following are some of the various ways in which the name Van-Braam can be said. Each one is more hilarious than the last, and they all came from the mouth of Grigg.
Van Impostor
Van Boyd
Van Blanc
Van Gogh
Van Table
Van Rouge
Van Graphics Calculator
Van Morrison
Van Damme
Van Rutter
Van Bayley
Van King
Van Chair
Van Whatever
