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Dean Tuffnell's Excuse Book

By Aaron Boyd

LATENESS:

AMNESIA: "Woke up and forgot it was a school day."

DROWSINESS: "Didn't wake up until 12:00 pm."
Good from 12:00 pm until 3:30 pm.

ASPHYXIATION: "Passed out from bus exhaust fumes."
Good for a week with doctor's certificate.

REBELLION: "Didn't want to go to school. Played Golf."
Ineffective.

SALMONELLA: "Stayed at boarding house last night. Feeling a little unwell."

INTOXICATION: "Stayed at boarding house last night. Feeling a little unwell."

SEVERE LICE: "Had to stay home and shave entire scalp."

HANGOVER: "Stayed at boarding house last night. Feeling a little unwell."

EXAMINATION: "Test today. I suddenly felt a bit sick."

SEVERE DEPRESSION: "Couldn't bear to see Mr Grigg again today."

Aaron Boyd is one of the original editors of The Mostly Amphigory.

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